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6 secrets to finding true love
Don't think you'll find true love? ELLE Canada has tips for finding your soul mate.
By Kat Tancock
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Do you have a relationship question? Ask other ELLE Canada readers for advice in our forums!
4. Friendship is key
Lust without friendship has its place, but a committed relationship isn't it, says Dobransky. And friendship without sexual attraction is, well, "just friends." You have to have both, says Dobransky, who recommends "screening" dates for their friendship potential by asking yourself, "Is he generally happy, not anxious? Is he my opposite in personality style?" Be honest in assessing his personality, and don't be afraid to ask pointed questions. And if you like the answers, says Dobransky, and think the two of you could make a perfect team, then "it's a natural next step to realize, hey, I could commit to this person."
5. Judge his character
Not to be judgmental, but some men (and, to be fair, some women, too) just aren't commitment material. They might be fun for flings, but if you're looking for something serious, you need to leave the bad boys behind. That doesn't mean settling for boring, but it does mean finding someone who's mature enough to respect you and keep promises. Dobransky recommends engaging what he calls your "cool eye," the ability to step back mentally and assess things objectively. Don't let yourself get swept away -- unless you can honestly say he fulfills all your needs.
6. Be honest about how good it is
It's one thing to have realistic goals in finding a partner; it's another to settle for a relationship that doesn't truly make you happy. Yes, there will be up days and down days, but overall, you want to have positive feelings about your partnership. So check in with yourself periodically on how things are going, and don't be afraid to move on and look for something better. Because in the end, says Dobransky, "relationships should benefit our lives, not be a second or third job."
Related articles:
The benefits of sex
Booty call breakdown
What guys really find romantic
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